Drifting
by vivamarisa
Summary: My very first FanFiction ever! A short interpretation of what could/should've happened with the Garrus/Femshep romance cutscene. It stays relatively true to in-game dialogue.


**Author's Note: Hey guys! So, I've been reading stories on for quite some time now, but I finally decided I wanted to participate and write some fiction of my own. (Also, there's so many amazing writers on here, I mostly wanted to be able to comment and review all of your lovely stories :p) So anyways, I'm new. This is my first fanfic, so be gentle. This story is just my interpretation of how I wish the Garrus/Femshep romance cutscene should have been. :) I truly hope you enjoy and please review!**

**Bioware is not my own. Neither are it's characters, dialogue and all that other jazz. **

Commander Lorea Shepard stared blankly at her private terminal. She had been sitting in the same position for hours now, answering message after message after message. Data pads and scribbled notes were thrown haphazardly everywhere –on the desk, on the floor, some even managed to end up behind her on top of her space hamster's cage.

Always the ultimate Paragon, she never was bothered by the fan mail, and she took pleasure in the "thank you" messages. Even the occasional email from the Illusive Man didn't annoy her anymore. She had become accustomed to her uneasy alliance with Cerberus. Lately though, her terminal had been filled with crap mail from various different sources. _You think they'd eliminate spam in the year 2183 _she mused to herself.

Actually, the junk mail was priceless. Usually, she found them hilarious and an easy way to cheer herself up. People trying to steal thousands of credits, deleted. The Hanar Enkindler messages, deleted. She even received a few about male enhancement. With a maniacal laugh, she had forwarded the latter to Garrus' omnitool. It had only been a matter of minutes before she heard his heavy footsteps outside her door and his snide comments that "he had never had any complaints before." She could practically hear the smile in his voice and his eyebrow ridges waggling up and down. A shadow of a grin ghosted onto her mouth.

It had been a few weeks since she'd playfully brought up the idea of "blowing off steam." She made it sound fun at the time, and he seemed to go for the idea quite readily. Ever since then, she had been going down to the forward batteries more and more often. Sometimes she would just sit and relax on the nearby crates, listening to the soothing sound of him calibrating. There was one memorable night where she couldn't sleep and walked in to find him slumped over on his console, drooling.

But tonight, she was too overwhelmed to laugh. She knew her face held shadows that betrayed more than lack of sleep. The unclear reflection of herself in her terminal monitor told her that her hair was in no better shape. She could feel herself being lost in the stress and the magnitude of her mission. Every day it got a little worse, she was becoming a recluse – a victim of her own nerves.

The Normandy and what remained of her team were already on course to the Omega 4 relay. In a futile attempt at distraction, she banished herself to her private quarters in hope of getting some much neglected paperwork done before the suicide mission.

She had been staring, unblinking for so long that the words and images on her screen began to turn fuzzy and morph together. Orange and black figures became mixed, and then swirled back to their original shapes.

She blinked and quickly her eyes readjusted. Out of the corner of her eye, the holo frame flickered. She turned to look at it fully; a human man stared back at her with a knowing look on his face. His handsome eyes stared right at her, accusingly. With a sound of disgust, she shoved her chair back and flipped Kaidan's picture facedown. _Bastard! _She grumbled under her breath. Where the hell did Miranda find that holo, anyways?

It was difficult to think about Horizon. She felt her jaw set as she replayed the scene in her head. Their relationship definitely wasn't romantic anymore. His pathetic apology letter made that clear. In fact, she was long since over their joining before Ilos. The hurt she felt wasn't caused because she missed Kaidan; she had truly lost a friend that day.

But could he not understand how important this was? How much was at stake? He was there with Sovereign; he saw how much destruction the dreadnought caused. And that was just one Reaper. She thought surely he would understand her need to cripple the entire fleet. If Cerberus was the means to her end, she'd just have to suck it up. He'd get it, right? Guess not.

She had cried on Garrus' shoulder that night.

It was unprofessional and stupid, but he had become her best friend. He was the only one she had left. She was flying through space in a ship that wasn't quite her own, with a crew who weren't quite the same, and she was slowly losing it. And when Kaidan had turned on her, Garrus became something more. He was the only thing anchoring her to her past life, every day he reminded her of who she used to be.

Yet standing there thinking about what could not be changed was doing no good, and she was suddenly reminded of her reflection in the terminal. She grimaced, and went to the bathroom to examine herself more clearly.

She looked worse than she could have imagined. She cringed at her reflection. Her brown hair was kinked and knotted in certain places, while some of her curls began to twist in odd shapes from laying on them too long. The shadows under her eyes were the darkest they'd ever been, and her skin was pallid, lacking its usual olive tone. She was even developing a pimple on her chin. Her brows furrowed with disapproval. _Yes, I definitely need a hot shower before…_

With a tight twist of her stomach, she realized that tonight was the night she had invited Garrus up to her cabin. She swallowed convulsively.

_Shit, shit, shit, shit._

She may have played it cool in front of Garrus, but she was ready to pee her pants. She knew it was more than just a romp before a potentially deadly mission, at least to her. She trusted him with everything, with all that she was, and she was worried that he'd find her… unattractive. She sighed and turned on the hot water of the shower, flinching as she stepped right into its scorching stream. She let the water wash away all of her insecurities. She imagined her worries rolling off her body along with the beads of moisture.

Garrus had already pointed out that he wasn't into humans, just into her. But still, was it too much for him to revel in her appearance? For him to **want** her? The thought of him scrutinizing her figure made her self-conscious, and she wrapped her arms around her naked body.

She was surprised at how easy it was for her to think of Garrus as anything other than her brother. She would have thought it felt wrong, but she became more infatuated with him every time they saw each other. Garrus even went as far as too blatantly flirt with her, and she readily bantered back.

"_You know me – I like to savor that last shot before popping the heat sink." _She could practically hear his deep rumbling voice in her ear. She blushed and felt a faint flutter in her chest.

Turning off the water, she wiped the condensation off standard-size mirror and gazed at her body again. Once riddled with scars, her form was now perfect and smooth. _Like a baby, _she thought. _A creepy, Cerberus built baby-clone of her former self. _

She had always been attractive, but years of being a marine had hardened her body in a way that wasn't quite sensuous. She was all muscle, lean and heavy. She glanced down at her hands; once long and slender, they were calloused and rough. She frowned again. She was reminded that Garrus had tough skin of his own, and she blushed. _I wonder if he's rough like that… everywhere._ The thought brought a true smile to her face and she laughed.

Garrus was the only one who could make her feel as if she wasn't the Commander, as if she didn't have the weight of the whole galaxy literally on her shoulders. Every day, she made decisions that could possibly affect the entire galactic community. That got to wear on a person. Garrus saw through her front, and he accepted her regardless.

With a steadying breath, she stepped out of the bathroom. The sudden rush of cold air made her freshly shaved legs appear stubbly again. "Lovely",she mumbled sardonically. "Garrus will love that."

"Do you need Officer Vakarian, Commander? He is currently pacing outside your door. Should I let him in?" EDI chimed.

Lorea's eyed widened. She hadn't expected him to be up so soon. She looked down at her body and realized she was still only wearing a towel. "Uh…" she dropped the towel and scrambled for her closet. She grabbed some perfume and sprayed all over her body, even daring a spritz between her legs.

"Um, one second!"

Garrus' voice was uncertain. "Shepard?"

_Shit, shit! _Without even looking, she grabbed whatever clothes she could reach. After shoving them on her body, she took a running leap towards her bed, mid-air calling, "Come in!"

**-GARRUS' POV-**

The ride up to the Commander's cabin was interminable. Garrus simply stood there, shifting from foot to foot, rolling a cheap bottle of wine in his talons. The elevators were painfully slow on the ship. _At least it's not as bad as it was on the SR1_. Garrus snorted to himself.

Tonight, he was grateful for the extra time to collect himself. In only a matter of weeks, he and the Commander's relationship had evolved, and now he was on his way to her private quarters. He shut his eyes and tried to regulate his breathing. His visor told him that his heart rate and blood pressure was slowly beginning to rise.

"_Sounds like you're carrying some tension… maybe I could help you get rid of it." _He imagined the Commanders sultry smile, directed at him. He couldn't believe it. The way she had slung herself across his workstation… he could never look at that console the same way again. He had thought she was joking at first, but here he was; ready to go fraternize with the Commander herself. _Lorea!_ He silently kicked himself. She had asked him to call her by her first name.

He had entertained ideas of a relationship with her back when they were chasing Saren, but the human male Kaidan quickly ruined his plans. Lorea and that squishy excuse for a mate became a couple before he could say anything. But his hope had been rekindled when Kaidan and the Commander had a run-in on Horizon, and Kaidan shut her down. He vowed then and there that he would always be there for Shepard, in any way she wanted. _Even if I am just a distraction._ Garrus frowned.

He cared for her more than anything. He had been there to talk when she stumbled into his room, chin quivering. He remembered his anger at Kaidan. Who in their right mind would talk to her like that? He swore that the next time he saw the biotic, he'd get a glimpse of the predator inside every Turian. How in the world could someone be so idiotic? Who would discard a woman like Shepard? She was dynamic, powerful, beautiful, exotic… He tried to stop himself before he completely lost control.

The sliding of the elevator doors interrupted his train of thought. _This is really happening. You can do it._ His mandibles clicked tightly against his face. _Oh, Spirits. I can't do it. _

What should he say? Were their species courting customs similar? What if he said something that was terribly offensive, and Shepard never wanted to see him again? He growled almost inaudibly practically throttled the wine bottle in his hand. _You __**can**__ do this. You are going to march right in there, make her melt and beg, and then –_

EDI's voice was audible through the doors. "Do you need Officer Vakarian, Commander? He is currently pacing outside your door. Should I let him in?" _Spirits!_ Garrus cursed internally.

He heard a noise on the other side of the door that sounded suspiciously like a squeal. "Shepard?" he called lightly. There was some more fumbling, followed by a faint thud. "Come in!" She called shrilly. Sighing, Garrus took one last shaky breath and opened the door.

Lorea's quarters were not what he expected them to be. Random clothes and belongings were strewn across the room. Some were piled together as if someone had feebly tried to clean up, and her desk housed an impressive collection of antique books. Notes and data pads were piled precariously by her terminal, and he noted with a smile that Kaidan's picture had been turned facedown.

"I thought I asked you to call me Lorea." Shepard said playfully. Garrus finally turned his gaze towards her voice and inhaled sharply. Lorea was lounging on the bed, her long legs crossed at the ankles. She was propped up on her elbow, and the large white shirt she was wearing hung loosely off her shoulders, revealing the beginning curves of her breasts. The garment was just long enough that he couldn't tell if she was wearing pants underneath. _Oh my_, Garrus thought lamely. He followed the smooth column of her throat up to her face. Her skin bore a healthy flush; she was definitely looking more rejuvenated than he had seen her in a long time. Her lips were parted with breath and her dark eyes sparkled with mirth. _She smells wonderful, _Garrus thought happily. Some Earth scent wafted towards him. _Violets, maybe?_

He was surprised how… relaxed she looked. Her brown hair, usually up in a rigid bun, was hanging wildly over her shoulders. Her curls were just beginning to dry, and there were still droplets of water resting randomly on her skin. Bathed in the cool light of her fish tank, she looked ethereal. Almost fragile. It was hard to believe this was the woman he'd been fighting alongside with all this time. Garrus only noticed he had been staring to long when Shepard's face became confused. She cocked her head sideways and began to stand up. "You okay?" she asked.

He could not speak. When she rose from the bed, her shirt ghosted up and he saw the tight training shorts she wore underneath. Her lithe muscles moved beneath her skin as she stalked towards him. He never thought he'd consider a human's vulnerable form powerful. Shepard had changed a lot of things about him.

Garrus gulped audibly. "I brought wine," he offered her the bottle. "Best I could afford on a vigilantes salary." He laughed weakly, and Lorea accepted the gift. She flashed him a smile, white teeth gleaming up at him. _I shouldn't be finding this attractive, _he thought._ If only Father could see me now._

With bottle in hand, Lorea walked over to her desk and set the wine down. "This looks delicious!" She enthused. But Garrus wasn't listening. His eyes were trained on Lorea's backside. _What is that part of the body called again? The booty?_ Yes, that sounded right. He recalled hearing Joker use the word once or twice when talking about females. The sight of her body gave him renewed confidence, and he decided now was the time to put his plan in action.

While she was busying herself with the drinks, Garrus lurched over to the console on her wall, and quickly typed in the appropriate code for music. Abruptly, a dance song began to play. Garrus didn't much like the song, but he remembered watching Shepard shuffle along to the tune in a few of the Citadel's bars. The music had the desired affect; Lorea turned away from the wine, crossed her arms over her chest and smiled crookedly.

_Perfect_! Garrus thought. He swept his arms wide and allowed a grin onto his face. "If you were a Turian, I'd be complimenting your waist or your fringe." He faltered a little when he studied Lorea. She still had that goofy smile, and her eyebrows were arched comically. "So… your, uh, hair looks good. And your waist is… very supportive." _Did I say something wrong?_ He worried. Shepard's face hadn't changed. That smile was still locked onto her mouth, and it was slowly growing the longer he stood there. He began to fidget. He definitely had done something wrong. He tried to backtrack and recover the mood. "Hopefully that's not offensive in human culture-" he apologized.

Before he could continue, Lorea held up a hand. "Whoah! Consider me seduced smooth talker." She looked up at him and laughed. "Now shut up and stop worrying." She reached over and turned off the music. _Was that sarcastic? So… was she not going for my lines? _Garrus huffed, embarrassed. All he wanted to do was make this perfect for them both. He stuttered uncertainly. "I just… I've seen so many things go wrong, Lorea. My work at C-Sec, what happened with Sidonis…" His face was downcast. "I want something to go right. Just once, just…"

With only a few words, Garrus gave something away, and they both realized it. In the kindest gesture she could manage, Lorea reached up and stroked Garrus' scarred mandible, her eyes searching his face. The move was exceedingly simple, but the emotion behind it could not be hidden. Garrus turned his gaze up to meet Shepard's and they stared at each other for a long moment. Timidly, he reached up to touch her shoulder, and Lorea lowered her forehead to his in a silent act of permission.

In those few seconds, both of their inhibitions melted away. Lorea removed herself from his embrace, clasped his talon in her hand, and slowly led him towards her bed. She knew that with him by her side, she could face whatever the galaxy had to offer her. She would give Garrus a second chance at life, like he had given her.


End file.
